Goal Setting for Teens

The word Gang causes a great deal of controversy and fear every time it is uttered. There is a great deal of myth and misconception about just what is a gang, how they recruit/operate and the danger they pose to our society, our families and children. Working with gang members for a great number of years, I’ve watched as they have become more sophisticated and violent as time has passed. What was once given short shrift or ignored as an anomaly is now recognized as an incredibly complex problem, not only for law enforcement but for our society as a whole. This article is a good starting point for parents and youth who want to see the truth about what gangs are, and are not.

When we hear the term “Gang” it conjures images of drugs, bullet ridden bodies, money and fear. The reality is; gangs are not new. In fact there is documented evidence of gang related activity going back as far as 1400-1500 AD. What is changing is the increased communications and cooperation on joint criminal ventures between gangs that would traditionally be at war or in competition for the same drug territory. Expertise and even technology are shared in an attempt to evade law enforcement and increase the bottom line. If it’s beginning to make gangs sound more than just a little like a business, it’s because they are. The only difference is that their products are crime, fear and death. 

When you take a close look at how many gangs operate, patterns begin to emerge. Gangs want the same thing as any corporation. They want to grow and expand in their territory/target niche. Profit is the bottom line and ruthless business tactics are often employed in the name of gaining a competitive edge. To further the corporate analogy, gangs also use brand recognition and targeted advertising to reach their target demographic. Every gang member I’ve ever known describes himself as a “businessman”.

We won’t be discussing the different types of gangs in this article. That’s a whole separate discussion and best left for another time. Nor will we examine the complex social problems that allow gangs to flourish. These issues are far too large to explore in one article and are best digested in small doses.  Instead in this article we will examine some risk factors for young people being targeted for recruitment or victimization by gang members and the some of the myths and misconceptions that abound with this topic in general.

Young people become involved in gangs for a lot of different reasons; a sense of belonging, family/friends involved in gang lifestyle, money, protection, etc. The point is; everyone is potentially vulnerable to or affected by gangs on some level. As parents we need to recognize the potential warning signs of attempted recruitment and acknowledge that while we can’t reduce all of the risk factors in our children’s lives, but we can give them enough resiliencies to deal with the problems when/if the time comes.

Parents always ask how they will know if their children are becoming involved with gangs. You will notice changes in their behavior and interactions with family, authority and society in general. Some of the changes that parents would notice immediately would include;

I think it’s important to note that these indicators are not definitive. I know a lot of teens who display several of these identifiers and are no more affiliated to criminal gang activity than I am. What these warning flags should do however is alert parents/teachers and anyone working with youth that there is a potential for recruitment/association if early intervention does not occur. There are other risk factors that cannot be controlled such as;

For every risk there are also resiliency factors. Resiliency is the product of a set of influences and circumstances that would pre-dispose youth away from negative lifestyle choices. Strong family ties, involvement in organized activities and strong adult role models and community involvement can go a long way to helping young people keep from becoming involved in gangs and other negative activities. It’s important for parents to realize that in many ways they are the ones on the front lines in the war on gang/criminal activity.

There are a great number of myths and misconceptions around gang culture. Some of them are loosely based in reality, but utilized by gangs to increase recruitment and perpetuate the fear/respect and “silence through intimidation” they need to operate. One of the biggest myths is;

Gangs will protect me from my enemies. The facts would indicate otherwise. It is physically impossible for any gang to protect their members 24/7. The United States Secret Service spends billions of dollars and has tens of thousands of agents to protect a very small number of individuals. Gangs, no matter how much money they are making from the sales of drugs and other criminal acts have neither the financial resources, the training, nor will to protect a lowly foot soldier on the street. Replacing them when they are killed or incarcerated is easy. Finding and training a new foot soldier is a much more cost effective business decision than paying lawyers. Secondly your risk of death increases dramatically when compared with actuarial tables of youth not involved in gangs. A police officer well known for his expertise in these matters summed it up beautifully. He said;

“The moment you join a gang, you automatically gain one hundred new enemies you never even knew you had.”

Gangs also rule by fear and intimidation of their own members. This means that in addition to the risk of being kidnapped, assaulted or killed by rival gangs; gang members often face the same risks from their own group.

Joining a gang will give me respect. This is one of the most common misconceptions in gang culture. When gangs talk about respect what they really mean is fear;

“Respect is earned and always there. Fear is generally present only when the object of the fear is nearby. Fear often coincides with hate. It is the power of illusion.”

We need to understand and convey to our young people that they are not the same things. Gangs must rule by fear in order to maintain their control over a very competitive drug market and other crime related activity. If their enemies don’t respect/fear them, then their drug markets will be taken over and their runners “jacked” and assaulted. If their members don’t respect/fear them, then they could potentially rip off the gang by running independent operations and skimming profits. Let’s face it; one of the best ways to control a violent criminal is to be a bigger and more violent criminal yourself. 

Gang members are my friends. Over the years I’ve come to know a lot of young people involved in gangs. Many of them had friends and family involved in the gang lifestyle. Unfortunately many of them are also dead, or know a lot of other young people who are. Although there is the perceived loyalty to the gang and its members it is always interesting to note that the loyalty only goes one way. An average gang member who is working as a runner/soldier for any gang is not making a lot of money. Don’t let all of the cash you see them being arrested with confuse you. That money is the proceeds of crime and the property of the gang’s hierarchy. Foot soldiers no more get to keep the proceeds of their criminal activities than the salesman at car dealership gets to keep the money for the sale of a new BMW. In fact those arrested are likely on the hook and fined by the gang for the loss of the drugs and money. Gang members are paid a salary like any other employee; they just get the added privilege of needing to wear body armor to work and going to jail and/or being shot at as a condition of their employment. Secondly if gangs are so loyal to their members, how come they never seem to use any of the millions that they are making on drug sales to get incarcerated members the best lawyers possible?

I will be at the top someday. Realistically there is next to no possibility of this happening. An average foot soldier would likely have no opportunity to become the leader of a large gang. In order for this to happen it would involve surviving; the street, jail, internal dissent, rival gangs, etc. Then potential leader would actually require some business acumen and organizational talent, because as mentioned previously gangs are in the business of making money period. They are just involved in a huge array of criminal offences and operations to fulfill this goal. The facts are that sometimes gangs are controlled by larger criminal organizations much as a subsidiary company would be controlled by a large corporation. They have the ability to engage in independent action, but the overall organizational vision is determined by the more powerful entity (Organized Crime).

I can’t get out now that I’m in. Not all gang members are created equal. Don’t get me wrong, gangs are a huge problem and need to be dealt with. We can’t treat every gang member like they are the head of a Triad and spend inordinate amounts of money protecting society from them after they have caused untold damage to people’s lives. It is counterproductive, costly and mostly ineffective. Most gang members are not members of the leadership or upper management whose knowledge of the groups operations and intelligence would make them a liability to the gang should they attempt to leave. Most gang members are foot soldiers who are involved in the day to day operation of a small part of the organization as a whole and likely not in possession of any knowledge that could seriously damage the gang’s leadership or operations. Many times gang members simply walk away with no repercussions whatsoever.

In other articles we will explore the world of gangs and gang culture and look at topics such as;

In the meantime, take the initiative to find out what resources are available in your community and avail yourself of their time and experience in educating yourself on this issue. Believe it or not what you don’t know can hurt you. There is a lot of excellent free literature available online to give you an overview of general information on this subject. Talk to you children about the dangers of gangs and know their friends. Know who/where they are hanging out and any potentially dangerous areas to avoid. Educate yourself and your children on Personal Safety and basic Self Defense and teach them how to reduce as much risk in their lives as possible. The best you can do is provide them with as much Resiliency as possible and hope that it can outweigh the risk.

Kerry Sauve

StreetSense Safety and Security Inc

http://www.streetsensesafety.ca

Is this an epidemic fuelled by parents?Is life too easy?

Life is so easy for too many children; they don’t know what it means to work hard to acquire their desires. They ask for and are given just about everything they want far too easily. We are in a generation of excess. They want it all, and they want it now!Watch this with your teenagers

Take as little as 5 minutes to watch this YouTube “Teenage Affluenza” video by World Vision with your teenager. The video does a great job juxtaposing the problems of young people in a rich country vs. the monumental difficulties young people in poor countries face, but in a sarcastic way that isn’t too overbearing or preachy.Results of over indulgence

Some psychologists say that parents who overindulge their kids may be setting them up for future anxiety and depression. Recent studies show that kids who were given too much too soon often have difficulty coping with life’s disappointments as adults. They have a distorted sense of entitlement that gets in the way of successful relationships at home and in the future – the workplace.What the experts say

Experts also warn that parents are spoiling their kids; not just with material things, but by failing to set limits, not requiring that chores be done on a regular basis, not making the child wait or earn money for items they want, and smoothing away all the child’s frustrations in order to keep them happy, no matter what. According to experts, this type of parenting can lead to lack of motivation, low self-esteem and irresponsible behaviour.What happens when you don’t say no

Parent’s who can’t say no is an unexpected legacy of the affluent 90’s. This generation of parent has always been driven to give their teen every advantage. Now a growing number of psychologists, educators, and parents have come to the realisation that all this overindulging is producing lazy, self-involved, and irresponsible teenagers that are prone to drop out of school, continue to live with their parents into their mid to late twenties and beyond, and may develop a dependency on drugs and alcohol.Be their parent

What children need most at this time is for parents to be a parent; not their best friend. Today’s parents put in more hours on the job; at the end of the work week it’s tempting to give in to the guilt for not spending quality time with their kids, or to buy peace with a “yes.” Overindulged children often have lower self-esteem, a direct contradiction to what most overindulgent parents are trying to achieve with their coddling, Instead of having a sense of self- confidence they have a sense of knowing that their parents will take care of things for them.Saying No

According to psychologists parents need to find is a balance between the advantages of an affluent society and the critical life lessons that come from waiting, saving, and working hard to achieve goals. Don’t confuse permissiveness with love. In your quest to keep your child happy, you may forget to impart the ethics and values you really want to teach.The Marketing Phenomenon

Susan Linn, an instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, believes most parents are doing their best in the struggle against what she calls a marketing maelstrom. Corporate America is largely to blame for our overindulged society, she said. “Parents and children are living in a commercially driven culture that glorifies conspicuous consumption, and that’s harmful,” said Linn, author of Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood “Children are just inundated with very sophisticated marketing messages by companies that encourage them to nag their parents (to buy them things).”Those messages persuade parents and kids they can’t be happy without certain brands or products, she said. “People are buying into that belief that what makes a child happy is buying them things,” Linn said. “But the research tells us that things don’t make us happy.”Remind yourself and your children: The best things in life aren’t things!

Parents help us discover the gifts and the callings that God has for our lives. Parents help children and teens discover their vocational interests and the motivational gifts. Parents identify the steps and resources that are necessary to develop the qualities and talents that children and teens possess.
Parents know that children and teens receive the vocational interests, abilities, skills, and talents in a seed form. These seeds will develop into careers, jobs, tasks, assignments, or ministries. Then, the talents and gifts will produce earnings, wages, and spiritual rewards as the children receive pleasure from knowing that they are fulfilling the callings that God has placed on their lives.
The Goal of a Parent
A parent receives direction from Proverbs 18:16, Proverbs 22:6, and 1 Peter 4:10.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
1 Peter 4:10 As every man has received a gift, even so minister the same gift one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
Proverbs 18:16 A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men.
To learn about abilities, interests, and motivational gifts, parents have many tasks:
Assess children’s and teens’ vocational interests, abilities, skills, beliefs, and values.
Discover potential careers that are linked to children’s and teens’ identified interests.
Help children and teens choose the suitable post-secondary education and training.
Provide resources that help children and teens utilize their vocational interests, abilities, skills, beliefs, and values.
Understand the relationship between education, training, and specific occupations.
Introduce experiences that meet career, cognitive, emotional, and behavioral goals.
Present information on the current and future labor market.
Introduce problem-solving and decision-making strategies, and
Solve career issues, conflicts, and concerns.
The Steps Towards Completing Career Exploration Process
Step One: Preliminary Assessment
Parents must gain access to computerized, online, or paper/pencil career assessments. From these assessments, parents, teens, and children gain knowledge and understanding of our abilities, ambitions, aptitudes, identities, interests, life goals, resources, skills, and values. During this assessment period, parents will evaluate children’s and teens’ readiness for career planning.
Gary W. Peterson and others of the Center for the Study of Technology in Counseling and Career Development University Center, discussed the differences in career planning readiness. Children, teen, and adults can be categorized as:
Decided
Decided yet needing a confirmation
Decided yet not knowing how to implement their decisions
Decided choosing to avoid conflict or stress
Undecided
Undecided with a deferred choice
Undecided yet developmental unable to commit to a decision
Undecided and unable to make a decision because the individual is multi-talented
Children, teen, and adults transition from indecision to decisiveness when they complete the following steps in the career decision making and planning process.
Step Two: Educational and Occupational Exploration
Parents, children, and teens gather information about:
Educational choices
The benefits of educational achievement
The economy or labor market
Occupational choices
Specific occupations and programs of study
Training opportunities
The relationship between work and learning
Positive attitudes towards work and learning
Personal responsibility and good work habits
A typical working day for a specific occupation
Career exploration systems
Step Three: Problem solving
Parents, children, and teens solve career problems by:
Identifying educational and career planning obstacles
Creating solutions or courses of action
Setting achievable goals
Resolving conflict and tension
Making a commitment to reach our God-given potential
Problem solving should take into consideration personal values, interests, skills, and financial resources. Big problems are broken down into smaller, more manageable steps. Achievable goals result in the production of new competencies, attitudes, solutions, as well as educational and training opportunities.
Step Four: Goal Setting and Decision Making
As individuals, parents, children, and teens:
Set, formulate, prioritize, and rank goals
Clearly state our vocational interests, abilities, and values
Derive plans or strategies to implement the solutions
Make a commitment to complete the plans
Understand decision-making processes
Evaluate the primary choice
Consider a secondary occupational choice, if necessary
Decision-making processes include:
Developing learning and career plans
Identifying suitable occupations
Selecting appropriate educational programs
Figuring the costs of educational training
Considering the impact of career decisions.
Step Five: Implementation
While implementing and executing our learning and career plans, parents, children, and teens translate vocational interests, abilities, and skills into occupational possibilities. Parents, children, and teens do reality testing through interviewing current workers, job shadowing, part-time employment, full-time employment, and volunteer work. Parents, children, and teens obtain skill training, for example, social skills, resume writing, networking, and preparations for interviews.
Career Planning Resources
In order to assess gifts, talents, and abilities, parents, children, and teens need career resources. Career planning resources include books, videotapes, audio-tapes, games, workshops, self-assessment inventories, career exploration web-sites, and computer-assisted career guidance programs. These resources are found at libraries, community colleges, and resource centers.
The basis for most of the resources is the National Career Development Guidelines. In 1987, the National Occupational Information Coordinating Committee (NOICC) developed The National Career Development Guidelines. The guidelines were organized into three areas: Self-knowledge, Educational and Occupational Exploration, and Career Planning.
Self-knowledge deals with our self-concept, interpersonal skills, growth, and development.
Educational and occupational exploration reveals the relationships between learning, work, career information skills, job seeking, skill development, and the labor market.
Career planning includes self-assessment, career exploration, decision making, life role formation, goal setting, and the implementation of career choices.
Conclusion
We are each significant, different, and special. Yet, God knows our gifts, talents, and abilities. God has chosen us for special positions and tasks. Our occupations should reflect the callings that God has placed in our lives. Our vocations represent the gifts given to us by God. Our destinies come from God. Parents help children and teens discover God-given talents, abilities, and interests so that children and teens can fulfill God’s purpose for their lives.
As parents, we will use prayer, the Word of God, other books, videotapes, audio-tapes, games, workshops, training materials, self-assessment inventories, career web-sites, computer-assisted career guidance programs, and resource centers to assist us in helping our children, and teens.
References
Miller, Juliet V. (1992) The National Career Development Guidelines, Eric Digest ED347493, ERIC Clearinghouse on Counseling and Personnel Services, Ann Arbor, Michigan
Peterson, G., W., Sampson, J., P., Jr., Reardon, R., C., and Lenz, J., G. (1996) A Cognitive Approach to Career Development and Services, Center for the Study of Technology in Counseling and Career Development, University Center, Suite A4100, Florida State University, Tallahassee, Florida 32306-1035, http://www.fsu.edu/ ~career/techcenter/html

Over the past few decades there has been a drastic change in sexual behavior among teenagers. It is quite glaring that teen females have gradually become more liberated and sexually aggressive, to the point of being promiscuous. There is absolutely an upheaval in the sexual context of what is socially acceptable and what is not. Teenage behavior has changed dramatically and it appears to veer toward homosexual behaviors. There seems to be more awareness of sex-linked diseases and teenage pregnancy has generally become more acceptable.

Whatever norms that society has set in the past seem to have gone out the window. Some teens create their own norms based on what they “feel” instead of what is socially acceptable as appropriate behavior. Sadly, some teens have the notion that if something feels good, then it should be okay. No one can argue that sex is going to feel good. It should feel good because it was designed that way, but it doesn’t mean that it is appropriate all the time.

Sex ought to be something quite intimate – almost sacred, but it has become an art among today’s teenagers. Teens have found ways to engage in sex without inducing pregnancy. Sex itself has become a multi-million dollar industry. People know that sex sells, especially among teens. Go to the mall and you’ll see public displays of sexuality in some of the windows of shops. Go online and it’s basically the same scenario. You may even hear negative comments from teens about such stores yet they still have a strong desire to shop in such stores. Sex now has a price tag and is currently marketed as being fulfilling and romantic. It is apparently safe and easy and one can simply walk away with no strings attached.

Such a radical shift in the concept of sex among teenagers has been largely influenced by media, by peers, and by the culture and locations in which they live. There are three reasons why teens engage in sex as some form of recreation. These include irresponsible parents, puberty and desire, and the need for love. As soon as the word love comes into the picture, the green light for having sex greatly increases. If a boy professes love for a girl, then she becomes more likely to succumb to sexual pressure than if he doesn’t.

Parents need to constantly show their love to their teens because if the need for love is being met, they won’t have to look for it in the arms of another teen. Parents need to explain the emotional impact and the repercussions that come along with giving one’s sexuality to another. They need to help teenagers look past the fleeting pleasure derived from sex. Teens should learn to set lifetime goals for the future and consider whether having a child would fit into those goals. By having a clear set of goals for the future, teens won’t be easily swept by a sudden surge of emotions and they would be smart enough to gauge whether having a child is worth the risk of engaging into a momentary act of passion. Finally, parents must impart the value of self-control. Talk to your teen, explain to them how modern society is portraying sexuality and personal convictions. Keep them informed so they won’t be tempted to try something that they would regret later on.