Goal Setting for Teens

For many parents, the experience of raising children can easily turn from an idealized dream of Halloween costumes, lunch boxes, first dates and prom pictures into a battlefield of miscommunication and misunderstanding that leaves both teenagers and parents emotionally scarred.

In this type of environment, each attempt by parents to connect with their teen is like walking through a minefield. Every step carries the potential of detonating an explosion of conflict and aggression. The result of this type of family dynamic is often a numbing exhaustion that permeates every aspect of family and personal life.

A sense of hopelessness is common when a gulf in communication exists between parents and teenagers. A belief, steeped in resentment, that things will never be any different can keep families from seeing ways that respect and understanding can be restored.

With the right tools, applicable knowledge and commitment, parents can shift their relationships with their adolescent children from adversarial to respectful. By creating a space where parents and teens can hear each other in an open accepting environment the entire family can come together, reconnect and grow.

One of the best ways to start is by looking at the world that kids are living in. As much as one might sometimes question their choices, kids are the experts on their world. They have a common language that they share with friends, a set of intense likes and dislikes, and a way of looking at the world that is unique to themselves. The goal for parents is to approach that world with respect and learn to understand how things can affect a teenager in both positive and negative ways.

It can be difficult to set aside the time and energy to be present with children, especially with all of the expectations placed on parents to live up to our culture’s image of success. It is more than common these days to find both parents working as a means to sustain financial stability.

This same pressure to achieve affects teens as well when they perceive that acceptance and success comes from external achievement. The pressure to wear the right clothes, have the newest electronics, perform well in school, and be popular is very real to teenagers.

Having a safe haven within the family to decompress from these pressures is vital way for kids to maintain a strong sense of themselves while strengthening the family as a whole. Parents can encourage their kids to build on the strengths of their uniqueness showing them that they recognize the pressure they face to fit in.

As parents, it is also important to recognize when these pressures may be too big for your teen to handle on their own.  This is a time to find a qualified therapist who specializes in working with teens to assist them in dealing with the challenges they are facing.

As parents make space for the unique aspects of their teens to develop both adolescents and adults can create a place of mutual understanding.  By releasing judgment, misunderstanding, and expectation individuality can blossom and a healthy relationship can grow.

Learn More About Teens and Therapy at www.JohnSovec.com