Goal Setting for Teens

Your self-esteem is very important in the level of confidence you will have throughout your daily life. It is the way you view and feel about yourself that will have a very profound effect on how you life will proceed each day.

The opinions and experiences that you have gathered since child hood from family members, school, your friends and society as a whole plays a part in developing self-esteem but how you take it all in and view those opinions determines your selfesteem.

We seek encouragement and approval from others especially parents and role models as we are growing up and this plays a huge roll in the development and the building of self esteem as we try to build confidence within our selves.

As teens and into adult hood there is a constant barrage of commercials, opinions from others, family members that we should be slim, dress fashionable, be financially successful and if we are having problems living up to all this it can and does have a impact on our lives and leads to low self esteem.

The opposite is also just as true that if we have managed to live up to this expectation it can and sometime does lead to pride in our ability and in ourselves but friends and society can view us as being arrogant and conceited and resent us for being so successful and this can have an effect on our self confidence.

Your self-esteem will fluctuate daily and is highly affected by other people and events of the day but you are in total control of your self confidence and self esteem levels, it is up to you to determine if you will allow these events to control your life.

Just as rejection and loss can be underlying factors for low self esteem success and achievement can great boost you to higher levels of confidence and self-esteem.

However how we feel solely about ourselves is also determined by our relationships we have with others and if we are felt worthwhile as individuals. We are humans and we have a natural instinct to be wanted and included as well as wanted to contribute and be a value member of society that makes a difference, we want to feel that we matter.

Many people seek out a life coach or a confidence coach to help build self esteem and to build confidence and while this is great for I feel everyone can use help every now and then what every one must realize is that change is not easily accomplished.

Change means stepping outside of you comfort zone and this can lead to more selfesteem issues. This is why goal setting is very important when developing self esteem. It allows you to set small goals to achieve to eventually work you way up to the big goals you have for yourself all while along the way you gradually build your confidence levels and your self esteem to becoming the person you wish to become and also by doing this you build a inner confidence that will not be easily influenced by others and events is society.

Nothing worth having ever comes easy. If everything came easily to you then you wouldn’t value it so much when you acquired it.

You must be determined to improving your self esteem and you will soon find yourself achieving greater things as your confidence builds. Remember the way you feel about yourself also determines how others will interact with you and vice versa.

One of the best things I ever did for my self esteem issues was to finally be able to convince myself that if I was going to have the life I wanted I didn’t have time to worry about what others thought of me.

If I allowed what they thought of me to determine my actions then that meant they were controlling my life and I am the only one that controls my own life and that goes for you also.

© Copyright 2007 – All Rights Reserved Delton Doucet

Let me begin by asking you a few questions:

Do you know how to boil an egg?

Can you change a flat tire on your car?

Do you know how to wire an electric plug?

Would you be able to clear a blocked drain?

You may well be wondering why I’m asking you these things, but just bear with me. You see well into my late teens I was unable to answer “Yes” to any of those questions. I had great parents and they did just about everything for me. In fact they still would now if I let them! And I was certainly grateful!

But it had it’s downside as I’ll explain.

I still lived with my parents when I first learned to drive and bought my first car. But having a car means you’ve got to look after it. The trouble was, because I had so many things done for me, and also when I was at school I had never had much interest in the practical subjects where you got your hands dirty, I really hadn’t got a clue about auto maintenance. But not to worry, Dad was always ready and willing to help.

Until, that is, I got a puncture when I was on a remote road far from home. There were no mobile phones in those days so I couldn’t call anyone. So it was simple; I could sit and wait for someone to come along and ask for help, or I could set about changing the wheel myself. No choice really, so I took a look at the owner’s manual to see what I had to do and I did it.

And guess what? There really wasn’t a problem and in a few short minutes I changed the wheel and was on my way. And I’ve done the same thing a number of times since. I also know how to boil an egg, wire an electric plug, and even unblock the drain. And lots more besides.

So what’s that got to do with trust?

Well simply I learned to trust myself to do those things. You see because I had always had things done for me and, when I watched others doing them, convinced myself that I wouldn’t be able to do them, my subconscious mind believed me. When I struggled with the practical things at school it simply reinforced it. My mind became conditioned to believe that I was not going to be able to do those tasks.

But when it came to dealing with that puncture I had no choice. There were step by step instructions on what to do and I just had to get on with it. I had to override what my subconscious tried to tell me and trust myself to do it. Can you imagine how great I felt when I had completed the task successfully? And throughout my life I have learned to trust myself to do new things and take on challenges. I trusted myself to become a successful presenter and public speaker, I trusted myself to go out and learn to sell to people at all levels, and I trusted myself to give up a well-paid job and start my own business. Just like the owner’s manual told me how to change a wheel, I found out how to do the other things I’ve accomplished. The help, advice and instructions were always there.

And the same is true for you! Don’t be stopped from doing what you desire by your subconscious mind. You may well have become conditioned to believe that you cannot do things. You’ve probably come to believe you have your position in life and that wealth, happiness, financial freedom or maybe just a job you enjoy are beyond you. But don’t accept it. The opportunities are out there you just have to seek them out.

But how do you take that first step? Simple, you must simply trust yourself!

Self-confidence is the trust that a person gives to himself. Having that trust, it becomes easier to overcome the trials that may come along the way. This is something that every teen should have.

Teens want to have self-confidence in order to go through the ordeals of school life. After all, it is never easy to be in the receiving end of jeers and jokes from fellow schoolmates.

At this stage of a teenager’s life, the pressure of being cool or popular in school increases. There is a certain need for teens to excel and to prove that there is something good or remarkable about his or her character.

Teens must know that they have the tools to become a better person. However, that tools end up not being used when confidence deteriorates.

However, there are simple tips that can tweak the teen’s ego and believe that they have what it takes to become someone in this world.

First is to be always positive. When things go wrong, it is not necessary an indication that the teen does not have what it takes to make it right. In fact, learn from the experience and find a better way to make things right. It may be a challenge at first but it will gradually become easier in time.

Second, it pays to set goals. It is never possible to make things right by a flick of a finger. Make realistic goals. For example, a teen who’s struggling with a certain subject may set a goal of making a study timetable and set more time to learn the subject. It is best to stick to the goal in order to achieve the objective, which is to pass the exam.

Third, do not dwell on weaknesses. Find the strengths and find the way to overcome the weaknesses. It may sound easier said than done but it has worked to other people, then there’s no reason not to be able to do the same.

Fourth, listen to constructive criticisms but do not follow everything. It is good to weigh on things but always remember in the end that the decision still remains on the beholder.

Building self-confidence may not be as easy as counting one to ten. However, the fruits of this arduous task are totally worth the effort. Just remember that no one has ever succeeded pleasing everyone so lighten up and live a free life.